In the midst of finishing the (never-finished) bulletins for mailing and the internet last week, the phone rang. On the other end of the line was Susan Cowan. She wanted to tell me that she had made a monumental decision. She was going home.
You may remember, in January Susan’s kidneys suddenly stopped functioning. About March, she was told she had cirrhosis of the liver, essentially not working. This month, physicians said that her heart was weakened and failing.
Those who know Susan would expect her to be hopeful of full a recovery and from the beginning she was. Susan always rose higher than the challenges she faced. It is like she thrived on overcoming adversities. “Never say ‘die,’” that was Susan. But uncharacteristic of Susan, she said it. In disbelief at what I thought I just heard, I stuttered for what to say or ask. Each objection was thoughtfully answered, including her anticipation of Jonathan’s wedding next month.
But, the dialysis, all of the other physical complications, and being in and out of the hospital took a huge toll on her body. After explaining her condition, the reasoning behind her conclusion, and that her family didn’t like it but was supportive of her decision, Susan concluded by saying, “I’m just waiting for my ride.” At first, I thought she meant “to heaven,” but she was speaking of the ambulance that would transport her home, so that from there she could go to heaven. Or, at least, that is what I think she was saying.
It was difficult to fathom Susan’s positive attitude. As her sister Eurcey said, “I’m not sure I’d have the ability to make it for myself, but Susan seems to be at peace.” Even her facial expressions said, “everything is going to be O.K.” I remembered something Chuck Swindoll said in his little book “Encourage Me” that explained the source of Susan’s incredible peace.
“God does not dispense strength and encouragement like a druggist fills your prescription. The Lord doesn’t promise to give us something to take so we can handle our weary moments. He promises us Himself. That is all. And that is enough.”
Throughout her life, Susan experienced many “weary moments,” but she did so knowing that Jesus Christ always fulfills His promises. Not because Susan was deserving more than others, or because she had done so much for others and the church. But because she had responded in faith to His saving grace, Susan discovered that Jesus Christ is all, that He truly is enough.
While Susan’s announcement startled me Sunday afternoon, it was not easy saying good-bye on Monday, knowing this might well be the last opportunity I would have to talk with Susan on this earth.
Thursday morning, just after midnight, the “ride” Susan really waited for arrived. I’m glad she didn’t have to wait too long. I hope the wait for our face-to-face introduction with our Savior and Lord, as well as the grand reunion with those who have preceded us is not too long, either.
There will be a funeral at Joshua Memorial Park Mortuary on Tuesday at 2:00 PM. The address is 808 E. Lancaster Blvd. in Lancaster, CA. Burial will be at Park Lawn Cemetery in Commerce on Wednesday at 10:30 AM.
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