Wednesday I began to read the book of Isaiah. About the time I read the words in verse six, chapter one, I was beginning to feel like the Ethiopian eunuch when he was reading Isaiah. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought Isaiah was making fun of me: “From the sole of the foot even unto the head there is no soundness in itÉ.”

It even occurred to me begin driving my truck down the street in hopes that a “Philip” would run up alongside me and ask if I understood what I was reading, because, well, I did understand, but I didn’t like what God was saying. I know Isaiah was only speaking for God. I know that God was speaking to His people, Israel. I couldn’t help but think that He was also speaking to me. Maybe it’s just one of my many quirksÑI never really liked being told I was neglecting God, exchanging a relationship with rituals and selfishness.

Thinking I had the basic thesis of the book in place, I was ready to zoom through the day’s reading, chapters one through ten. That wouldn’t be a problem, it is about the same amount of material we have been reading for two months. About the time I read the words in verse eighteen, chapter three, I didn’t know what Isaiah was describing. “In that day the Lord will take awayÉtheir round tiresÉthe chainsÉand the mufflersÉthe bonnets, and the ornamentsÉand the hoods.” If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought Isaiah was telling how he was going to discipline his son. It wasn’t easy being a PK in Israel (that’s “Prophet’s kid”). It could be worse than being a preacher’s kid. After all, he did have a big name to live up to.

Mahershalalhashbaz. I realize I won’t be troubled by this name until verse one, chapter eight. But you know me, I wasn’t going to read any further until I could say that name as well as my own. It’s a pitiful name, too. It means “swift is booty, speedy is prey.” Every time Mrs. Isaiah would call her son from the back door, the neighbors must have thought the Isaiah’s were horrible parents. How could they name their son with a symbolic name that indicates Damascus and Samaria would soon be plundered by the king of Assyria?

Imagine my dismay, when after successfully mastering Mahershalalhashbaz, it appeared again in verse three, chapter eight. Maybe I wasn’t as proficient as I thought. However, I did figure out that Isaiah wasn’t telling how he was going to dismantle his son’s car, because there were those other words I didn’t know, nor ever remember reading before.

What is a “wimple”? What is a “crisping pin”?

If this wasn’t bad enough, Wednesday night, Pastor Rigsby makes a beeline to verse eighteen, chapter one. You know this verse. It is one of the many popular and well-known verses in Isaiah’s prophecy. “Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord; though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow: though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”

I’m sure he had many fine things to say about this verseÑGod’s willingness to forgive us and cleanse us from our dreadful sin. No doubt, he didn’t leave out the importance of faith to be saved and obedience that follows. But I didn’t hear any of it because he insisted that the word “now,” in the phrase “Come nowÉ” is actually an expression of request, like saying “please.” He said it was an old English expression (mostly used in TexasÑI’m not sure why he added that part, it surely wasn’t for my benefit, and my dad wasn’t there, you figure it out).

I had no reason to doubt Pastor Rigsby’s accuracy. Although, none of the other English translations say “please” (including the paraphrases like the Living Bible and the NIV). As a matter of fact, the commentaries didn’t commentate on it, either. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought that word “now” is one of them Hebrew idioms that only a Hebrew instructor teaches to a Hebrew idiot. I mean, Hebrew illiterate (thank you very much).

Oh, the agony! Is this how it’s going to be throughout the entire book of IsaiahÑall sixty-six chapters?

I hope so! I mean, come on, now!ÑI may even learn what a “wimple” is!

Come on, now, praise God for a single syllable name.

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